I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and what I could be if...there weren't any other people living in the world. - Anne Frank
Its strange how she ends up seeing precisely what she is looking for.
Or maybe its cos she is looking for them everywhere, the signs that is.
In any case, its nice to see answers or at least what she deems to be answers. But is tragically terrible to realize she may never go through these absolutely rational logical ones and pick the wrong choices.
As anne frank says.... "if... There weren't any other people living in the world".
.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Another lonely day...
"Another Lonely Day"
- Ben harper
Yes indeed I'm alone again
and here comes emptiness crashing in
it's either love or hate
I can't find in between
cause I've been with witches
and I have been with a queen
it wouldn't have worked out any way
so now it's just another lonely day
further along we just may
but for now it's just another lonely day
wish there was something
I could say or do
I can resist anything
but temptation from you
but I'd rather walk alone
than chase you around
I'd rather fall myself
than let you drag me down
it wouldn't have worked out any way
and now it's just another lonely day
further along we just may
but for now it's just another lonely day
yesterday seems like a life ago
cause the one I love
today I hardly know
you I held so close in my heart oh dear
grow further from me
with every falling tear
it wouldn't have worked out any way
so now it's just another lonely day
further along we just may
but for now it's just another lonely day
- Ben harper
Yes indeed I'm alone again
and here comes emptiness crashing in
it's either love or hate
I can't find in between
cause I've been with witches
and I have been with a queen
it wouldn't have worked out any way
so now it's just another lonely day
further along we just may
but for now it's just another lonely day
wish there was something
I could say or do
I can resist anything
but temptation from you
but I'd rather walk alone
than chase you around
I'd rather fall myself
than let you drag me down
it wouldn't have worked out any way
and now it's just another lonely day
further along we just may
but for now it's just another lonely day
yesterday seems like a life ago
cause the one I love
today I hardly know
you I held so close in my heart oh dear
grow further from me
with every falling tear
it wouldn't have worked out any way
so now it's just another lonely day
further along we just may
but for now it's just another lonely day
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The Slow Dance
She has started lying. Not cos she has to. Just so that she isn't out of practice. But maybe it is more cos she is not ok with hurting with truths. Or the guilt that follows. Its complicating everything way more than before. But the truth is really that she's started making the same mistakes done to her.
She's also started moving out of the realm of just laughing uncontrollably.Is this a sign ? That there's a difference between "against your will" and "ignorance"- for the kids singing nothing else matters in the pune choir. She just kept thinking it was unfortunate for those kids.
But he made her see. It wasn't really that strange you know.
She's also started moving out of the realm of just laughing uncontrollably.Is this a sign ? That there's a difference between "against your will" and "ignorance"- for the kids singing nothing else matters in the pune choir. She just kept thinking it was unfortunate for those kids.
But he made her see. It wasn't really that strange you know.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The little things
She would miss the big picture and be fascinated by the small details.
She dint see 5 people wasting away a part of their life while their peers were busy running the rat marathon. She saw the tears of laughter in her eyes in the mirror, the way the the waves of music and laughter hit them all , the squeak of the footwear on granite floor and the squeels of laughter inspired in her, the fascination in those eyes, the blue-green insect that adamantly sat on the main door .
She stared at them, be amused in part, inspired in part, deliberate over them know she'd seen a beautiful thing today.
It was hers in spirit. All hers. No one else owned them you know. They just dint know.
She dint see 5 people wasting away a part of their life while their peers were busy running the rat marathon. She saw the tears of laughter in her eyes in the mirror, the way the the waves of music and laughter hit them all , the squeak of the footwear on granite floor and the squeels of laughter inspired in her, the fascination in those eyes, the blue-green insect that adamantly sat on the main door .
She stared at them, be amused in part, inspired in part, deliberate over them know she'd seen a beautiful thing today.
It was hers in spirit. All hers. No one else owned them you know. They just dint know.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Footsteps
The mind kept talking of places and people, of today , tomorrow and yesterday. And the smile on the face played in sync with it all, some happy, some sad , some guilty , real , imagined thoughts and memories.
At about 3 in the night this might have seemed like someone who'd crossed over to the other side of sanity. But that of course is the beauty of solitude.
Ten minutes later , when the mind took a breather to look around and really see where the feet were taking it , it couldn't help admiring the effortlessness of it all. The feet had taken the mind and the smile to the new "home". Empty , not so warm, with memories of past plastered on the walls, and a familiar unfriendly dog waiting for them at the doorstep. It wasn't quite a home, but it'd do for the moment.
At about 3 in the night this might have seemed like someone who'd crossed over to the other side of sanity. But that of course is the beauty of solitude.
Ten minutes later , when the mind took a breather to look around and really see where the feet were taking it , it couldn't help admiring the effortlessness of it all. The feet had taken the mind and the smile to the new "home". Empty , not so warm, with memories of past plastered on the walls, and a familiar unfriendly dog waiting for them at the doorstep. It wasn't quite a home, but it'd do for the moment.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
"She will be loved...
...I know that goodbye means nothing all...Comes back and makes me catch her every time she falls "
This song had meant a lot to her. At different points of her life. For different people. From different people. She hoped. So much so that, whenever it played, in her head or outside, the pain and melancholy would be just beautifully unbearable.
She knew that it never did really mean anything to anyone but her. But she'd still pretend, maybe as a way to absolve herself of the guilt of hurting herself time and again. Pretend there were others hurt more than her.
You see in a perfect world, this is how it is supposed to be.
A slow dance is just that. An entire night spent talking to someone is to be only that much.A quiet drive with 4 others is only a drive. Confessions in a drunken stupor are to be forgotten with the hangover. A gaze that lasts for 10 seconds is to last only for 10 seconds.
Frivolous memories , not to be looked at with a "what if " . To give way to the real.
They are only but memories now.
Frivolous ones that too.
This song had meant a lot to her. At different points of her life. For different people. From different people. She hoped. So much so that, whenever it played, in her head or outside, the pain and melancholy would be just beautifully unbearable.
She knew that it never did really mean anything to anyone but her. But she'd still pretend, maybe as a way to absolve herself of the guilt of hurting herself time and again. Pretend there were others hurt more than her.
You see in a perfect world, this is how it is supposed to be.
A slow dance is just that. An entire night spent talking to someone is to be only that much.A quiet drive with 4 others is only a drive. Confessions in a drunken stupor are to be forgotten with the hangover. A gaze that lasts for 10 seconds is to last only for 10 seconds.
Frivolous memories , not to be looked at with a "what if " . To give way to the real.
They are only but memories now.
Frivolous ones that too.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
4 friends
In the accepted ways of the world, they'd just met each other. They weren't to be so thick. But every time they reached that beautiful high together, with 2 of them cracking crazy jokes, one laughing inconsolably , another one doing both along with being concerned about his grades in between, they knew this was different. This was one of those guilty pleasures they deserved. Deserved for reasons unknown to others, reasons whispered through sudden bursts of tears, followed by a round of hollow laughter, a far away look out of the window and a smile and a sigh, a glance that peirced your thoughts accepted them and accepted you , a small nod exchanged silently that spoke a million words. They deserved their guilty pleasures.
Inside they knew this wouldn't last. It wasn't supposed to you see, beautiful things don't. Maybe that is why the one among them who'd seen fleeting beauty in the most painful way, tried to capture all this in still frames of his camera. To look at when all the memories had all but faded. To reminisce the comfort found in the unquestioning company of each other.
In their secret society of solace all were welcome, all were forgiven. Only shades of gray existed....in the breaking dawns and in the eyes that looked at the dawn through the rolled up window panes of a smoke filled car going nowhere.
Inside they knew this wouldn't last. It wasn't supposed to you see, beautiful things don't. Maybe that is why the one among them who'd seen fleeting beauty in the most painful way, tried to capture all this in still frames of his camera. To look at when all the memories had all but faded. To reminisce the comfort found in the unquestioning company of each other.
In their secret society of solace all were welcome, all were forgiven. Only shades of gray existed....in the breaking dawns and in the eyes that looked at the dawn through the rolled up window panes of a smoke filled car going nowhere.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)